I feel like I've grown up quite a bit the last couple of months -- the feelings that I posted about, just a couple months ago, I really don't feel anymore. I honestly have a wonderful life; great parents, a wonderful boyfriend, and very caring and loyal friends. I don't feel like I could do any of the things I do without the support of all of them. Although... I know one thing hasn't changed - I'm still petty and jealous, and I really wish I wasn't. It's something I need to work on, I know, but I could always use help. Just someone to let me know when I'm starting to get angry and such. Heck, even personality tests I fail, and that's difficult.

I mean, it's not that I don't get help from the people I love, I really do, but maybe it's just something I need to correct on my own?

At least I have a goal for the, still somewhat new, year.
Cheers!
Melissa

Such as it ends

Maybe it's just me, but when you go to college whatever college you choose whether it be a four-year school or just a community college - the difficulty of the course will not differ. Both schools are teaching the same thing. One is just cheaper than the other.
Most of those last few sentences probably won't even make sense to most people, hell, the barely make sense to me. It's something one of my closest friends said to me the other day. I told her I was worried about classes starting soon, and she replied with "Well. Don't be. The classes at ECC aren't nearly as difficult as U of I."
I wanted to punch her in the face hard-core.

I have been officially replaced by one group of friends, which is more of a blow than I thought it would be actually. I dunno. It's weird I guess. The above mentioned group of friends and I have been together forever it seems. I think it's more like eight years or something, but it still hurts you know?

Whatever.

This ain't a scene

So there's that Fall Out Boy song "20 Dollar Nose Bleed"? It's totally a favorite of mine these days, just for the line "Have you ever wanted to disappear?", because seriously, it's a great line. And yes, Fall Out Boy I have wanted to disappear. Today is indeed one of those days. Congratulations you know how to relate to someone under 20 years old.

I really prefer not to complain about my problems, heck, I don't even tell my boyfriend whats bothering me half the time, I just don't want him to worry more than he already does. He doesn't need that type of stress, he has more than enough of it for both of us. But I mean, sometimes I guess you just need to get your feelings out in the open, and I guess that's what I'm doing here.

I think I would like to move out and get my own apartment or something right about now. It's just... family problems I guess. Don't get me wrong. My parents are two of the most wonderful people in the world, I believe, they would do anything they could to help me. I just get really disappointed when they pull out the double standards with my sister and I. They're acting like I'm the worst, and most ungrateful child in the world for staying out later than they used to when they were young. Last time I checked Mom and Dad you two were complaining I don't get out enough. Stop changing your minds like that please. Thanks.
I'm just so frustrated that my opinions and thoughts about things mean nothing to them, but my sixteen-year-old sister says one thing and they are bowing to her every whim.
I understand being a parent is hard, heck, I had to be a horrid child to raise and I give them major kudos for living with me the last nineteen years, but my sister and I have been raised completely differently for being three years apart. It's just mind boggling to me.

But hey, it happens right?

And to make it worse in my mind at least; One of my oldest friends has been a complete and utter jerk recently, and I have no interest in hanging out with her tomorrow like I'm supposed to. I actually just want to punch her like crazy. POW! Right in the face. But I can't to that. Really want to though.

Everything just seems obnoxiously complicated, in ways they should never be.